SNL Skit: The Clinton's Discuss Their $109 Million Income.

Chris Brown: Rihanna's "Just A Friend".

Undoubtedly feeling refreshed after his Caribbean vacation, Chris Brown was in Los Angeles Saturday for the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards where he addressed the rumors he and Rihanna are dating. According to Mr. Kiss-Kiss, he's single and Rihanna is just a friend. I wonder if he meant just a friend in the Biz Markie sense of the word, or if he knows who Biz Markie is (that's an age joke). Big coinky-dinky, Rihanna, was also at the event, but the 20 year old pop Goddess dodged the press line. They both need to stop and just admitted it already.

Source: Yahoo!

Proof That Not Every J-Idol Was Meant To Be A J-Pop Singer.

I guess that J-Pop star thing is a lot harder than it looks because I really don’t know about this. It’s borderline embarrassing. I have made frequent mention of J-Idols, gravure models and the like making their way into other realms of media and entertainment. Now, please don’t get me wrong. I am not a hater. I’m all for someone seizing opportunities and going for theirs. And I have said on several occasions, I’m not into bashing folk, however, this is really, really not so good. at least in my opinion.

Nonami Takizawa is a great idol. I think she is beautiful and I think it’s cool that she keeps her clothes on. NoteveryJ-idol can make that claim. That’s another story. I’m cool with the woman trying to make a few extra duckets, but God… this song and the production and the video… I never knew staring at a hot woman could be so dull.

It looks like it was shot by a still photographer not a cinematographer, because her ass doesn’t move much at all. She looks like she was posing for a gravure shoot. And what the heck is she wearing? Anyway, this isn’t a new track it’s been out for a minute. I don’t know. It does have entertainment value, just maybe not what they intended. I guess that pop idol stuff is a little harder than it looks. Oh well, Nonami-chan… at lest you still have your day job.

Japanese Man Arrested For Illegally Dumping Porno Collection.

Oh, those wild and wacky Japanese. A 33 year old man from shizuoka prefecture got himself thrown in the clink for allegedly dumping over a thousand X-rated DVDS, videocassettes and magazines in an abandoned lot in Aichi (Nagoya), near a spot he’d gone fishing at. He drove all the way there because it was far away from his home after his wife told him to get rid of the stuff, presumably before she left him. Obviously, things went awry somewhere along way of the ill conceived plan. The police caught him and while explaining his dilemma, throw in the caveat, that he would have been “embarrassed if someone near my home had seen all this stuff”, referring to his little porno treasure trove.

Oh my Lord, that poor imbecile. Gives new meaning to the phrase caught red-handed. Japan, birth place of the Kyoto Protocol, takes it’s environmentalism very seriously, so I’m sure the punishment for this guy’s stupidity was rather stiff (sorry, I had to go there). My question is, if you have a wife, what the hell do you need with all that porn? Maybe if they had those “Give A Hoot, Don’t Pollute” commercials in Japan this wouldn’t have happened. Well, let that be a lesson to all you porn obsessed individuals out there.

Source: Japan Today.

Natural Selection Speed Date II: Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys.

What is this world coming to? We have all heard of Speed Dating parties. Basically, a live action match.com session for professionals who don’t do the internet. On the one hand it’s kinda cool because people can’t B.S. you. You know how women say stuff like “I’m full figured” when they mean I’m bigger than Mo’Nique Imes or us guys say stuff like “I’m rich and successful”, when in reality, we drive an ‘87 Ford and flip burgers. Nothing against big girls, flipping burgers or ‘87 Fords (well… there’s actually not a lot of good that can be said about an ‘87 ford), but you get my point, people tend to camouflage whatever perceived flaws the have on cyberspace.

So that’s why we have speed dating in the world. Enter Jeremy Abelson of Pocket Change. Mr. Abelson has been throwing, and taking a lot of heat for, his Natural Selection Speed Date: Rich Guys & Hot Girls events that pair wealthy geezers with Supermodel-type gold diggers. I mean wealthy like “Forbes list” wealthy. Old guys sitting on millions who dream of sticking it to Scarlett Johansson. Hey, this type of thing happens all the time, just look at Jack Nicholson or the President of France.

Exactly what I’m talking about. I mean, we even have ish like The Millionaire Matchmaker on TV (which I am simultaneously addicted to and repulsed by). There’s just no two ways about it, if you’re a rich guy, culturally speaking, it’s alright for you to do a woman half your age. Double standard? No question.

Now I can’t say if it’s in the essence of fair play or that he realizes he can double his money, but Mr. Abelson has turned the tables. He’s holding a Natural Selection Speed Date II: Sugar mamas and Boy Toys event to pair rich broads how are probably the divorced wives of his male clients, with guys that are just one bad break away from hustling Midnight Cowboy style. The ladies start at 35 and go up to 60, and are sitting on a minimum $4 million in assets and bring in $500,000 annually. For them this is really well-timed, with fashion week and all, it’s great for the ladies. It’s almost like one stop shopping. You just can’t beat that.

The big sale, uhh… I mean event will be on February 7th at 230 Fifth avenue from 8Pm - 10PM. Already 5,000 boy toys have signed up and the weeding process has begun. So fellas, if you want in you’ll have to wait until next time, or better yet, get a job. Sorry.

For more on this check out The Gothamist, which is fast becoming my favorite read and Jeremy Abelson’s Pocket Change. Hit this link for an application if you’re a rich mama or a boy toy, some more details or to get a look at some of the Sugar Mamas attending. Get your groove on Mrs. Robinson, I’m not mad at you.

Sixteen Year Old Boy Gets His Freak On In A Saitama Hostess bar.

Man, I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I was just going through today’s latest news in my NetNewsWire reader when I came across this funny tale of a Japanese lad running up an outrageous bar tab at, what sounds like, one of those cheezy Japanese hostess bars where all the salaryman type go after work to get buck wild before going home to their wives & families.

This youngster, all of sixteen years old - what? a high school sophomore - went to said hostess-type bar in Niiza, Saitama, just outside Tokyo, and ran up a P. Diddy-sized tab of ¥370,000 ($3,460.21/€2,369.94) on bottles of top shelf champagne, 60 cocktails and “four or five hostesses”. He walked in the joint at 10:30 PM and at 4:30 in the morning, when presented with his bill, told them he didn’t have any money to pay. I’m amazed he didn’t get his ass kicked.

They called the police and after they arrived, it was revealed that the suspect (name withheld because of age) was a mere child, that now only applies in the chronological sense. The young man certainly has gone were no Japanese teen has gone before, but it certainly cost him. I find it particularly interesting that this kid knew how to order drinks & hold a conversation with several grown women.

Talk about swag. Two things I am willing to bet, one - he is now the king of his daigaku and two - he probably did get that ass-whuppin’ when he got home because somebody had to pay for that. However, I am pretty sure dad’s pride held him in check a bit.

Source: Japan Today.